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Srompkids
' Srompkids' was an educational television program aimed at kids, aired from 198CHOKE to 199GAGSPASM. The show involved five EUUUUUUUGHPFFFFFTs named Choke, Gag, Seizure, Spasm and BuddhaCharlie that form the Aye Gaga League, who spend their time teaching kids important srompmorals and srompvalues while fighting the evil zombie negroes and emo beaners led by Oeht Suorp. The show had many different segments, including StupidNegroes, which taught how good slavery is and how we need it to have the best economy, and the BuddhaSegment, where BuddhaCharlie taught important life lessons to all kids. Motives The Srompkids show taught kids history, valuable life lessons by BuddhaCharlie, Srompmorals and Srompvalues, and how great it is to be a fat american. Srompvalues included how good slavery is for the economy, how it is good to only think for yourself, how it is good to not help the poor, etc. In addition, it told kids what sounds various animals and objects make (for instance, the lion goes AWOOO), and many other things, like how to choke, gag, spasm. Format Each episode of Srompkids was divided into several segments, each dedicated to certain lessons. Most episodes followed the same order, though there are exceptions which will be noted below. Opening Sequence The opening sequence for Srompkids featured the theme 'Ewww Ewww' by BuddhaCharlie himself, the song made famous after the show aired, while the logo appeared and prerecorded segments of the show flew around the screen. The episode "My Face CHOKEihatebeaners' showed a modified version featuring clips of BuddhaCharlie eating cream pies instead of the usual logo. StupidNegroes StupidNegroes starts the episodes with the Aye Gaga League, usually in their underground AAAAAAAAAGHSEIZURE talking to kids about kitties, when they hear their SrompSiren going WANG WANG WANG. Then, in one way or another, they are invaded by zombie negroes. The league fights off the negroes, then proceeds to show children the benefits of slavery on the economy and the people of the country (note: slaves are not people) with Makalaka the Nigerian, Thabo the Ugandan, and Seone the Kenyan helping them out and serving them food. The slaves are often burned, whipped and otherwise tortured because of how good it feels, not only for the slave drivers, but also for the slaves themselves (the slaves are always shown to be smiling while tortured, because if they don't, they don't get to eat slop that month). Dumbeaners Dumbeaners features the members of the Aye Gaga League going on many adventures, but then suddenly they run out of money. The league then realizes that none of them have a single job, despite all being recent graduates from the University of Szszszszsz. They go to apply for jobs when Oeht Suorp appears and summons many emo beaners, all selling crack, speaking Spanish and bent on stealing every job in the county. The five EUUUUUUUGHPFFFFFTs go around town, interrogating people about the beaners. The townsfolk complain about the beaners and teach the children that we should all snipe mexicans coming over the borders and how all beaners take jobs and how their plague must be stopped. Then, with the help of the townsfolk, they hunt down and kill the beaners and drive away Oeht Suorp, who swears vengeance. All is good. SrompHistory Now that Oeht Suorp and his negroes and beaners are driven away, the league goes inside the HicHicChooooke Museum, viewing many exhibits and teaching kids their significance in history as they go. Examples include a painting of The Great Beaner Wars of '47, featured in episode "ACHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPCHOPpbbt" and a bust of Abraham Lincoln's stupid economy-ruining face, featured in episode "The Choke Goes On". BuddhaLessons In this segment, only BuddhaCharlie appears to teach important but brief lessons to children. For example, in the episode "EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEGHspasm", he teaches that the coffee warmer keeps the coffee warm. In the episode "FRICK THIS SHOW", BuddhaCharlie teaches that while some may call it soda, others call it pop, but he will always call it soda pop. It is usually the shortest segment of the show. SrompNoises Arguably the most famous part of the show, SrompNoises shows the league heading to the farm to yell at the negroes to work faster, but also to see the various animals (the ones that aren't negroes). The gang then teaches children the sounds they make, as well as some sounds that everyday objects make. For instance, they taught that: * Horses go VRINSK! * Frogs go QUAAK! * Lions go AWOOO! * Roosters go O O O * Creaking doors go VRRZZZ! * Cars go NGONG NGOOOOONGNGNGNGNGNG! The Art of choke BuddhaCharlie explains what choking, gagging, spasming, and seizures really are. He explains how, to the stupid people around the viewer known as non-srompkids-watching, those four things listed above are totally different from what they really are. This is dubbed Traditional meaning. BuddhaCharlie explains what sounds to make while choking/gag/spasming/seizuring, including EUUUUUUUGH, HUEEEEEEPPFFFFFFT, EEEEH, and tradtionally CHOKEing, GAGging, SPASMing, and SEIZUREing. He goes into details on these sounds, including their history and etymology. Srompoems Srompoems shows only Gag, sitting down with a book titled Hicstupidhealthcare and reads children some poems from the book, such as the famous 'Choke a stupid face', but also some others such as 'In Flanders CHOKEGAGSEIZURE NOIDONTWANTTOCONTINUEUGH' and 'its a watermelon'. This segment often has guest appearences, such as when Engineer appeared in the episode "The Seizurehic Effect" to recite his poem, "nope". SrompScience In SrompScience, Richard Dawkins appears with the league and talks about how interesting science is, and telling those who disagree to CHOKE off. Then, they teach kids scientific principles in a simple, easy-to-understand manner. Some things they have taught are the Sromparticles theory, the origin of the ayegaga and the Sef Gonzales effect, which explains why beaners try the climb the borders all the time. (Because they're poor and stupid.) SrompEating In this episode, the league goes to the kitchen. What happens next depends on the episode, but it always involves yelling at the beaner woman to make them something. They showcase a new recipe every episode. Their more well-known recipes are the American staple, a modified Bacon Explosion (10 pounds of sausage wrapped in 20 pounds of bacon, deep-fried and covered in butter), the American Snack (4 hotdogs covered in lard and ketchup) and the Whatisthatyoucantevencookyoufrickingbeaner (a burnt cake dipped in bacon grease). YourFace In YourFace (LOL GEDDIT IT SAYS IN YOUR FACE XDXD), the league goes to the bathroom and examines their individual faces in the mirror. In doing so, they teach kids lessons about faces. What the lesson is can vary greatly. Lessons include showing children how to determine what their faces are, when, where and how to use them, history about faces, and what it means to have a face with whatever attribute you have. Helping them explain is Meklapis, the albino black communist living in the missle east that plays soccer. His face is described as impulsive. FatAmericans The conclusion to each episode, FatAmericans tells kids how great it is to be a fat American. How it does this depends largely on the episode. In the episode "The Communist Beaner", for instance, Oeht Suorp appears, aggravated, unleashing a huge wave of negroes and beaners to attack the Aye Gaga league. The Aye Gaga league calls Americans for help, and they come rolling in, crushing all negroes and beaners in sight. SrompExtras (Ending Sequence) Finally, the credits roll as bloopers, gag reels and other clips, depending on the episode, appear next to them. In some episodes, a video shows an important message, like in "EEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHH" where a beaner appears and talks about how stupid he is. Interruptions During certain episodes, at a random time, the show is interrupted by choking communists. The interruption can last for a second as it can an hour, or even longer. Why? Because FRICK YOU THAT'S WHY Characters Srompkids has many different characters, all with unique faces and powers. Note that this list doesn't include guest appearences; for those, see the episode list. The Aye Gaga League BuddhaCharlie - An extremely talented middle-aged man who is capable of many things. He is blessed with the Power of choke, which allows him to scream much louder and longer than any other human can, useful for scaring off negroes.' Choke '-''' A semi-retarded emo blue dragon who always wears stupid clothes and has a razorblade on hand. However, he has the Power of Vromb, which briefly gives him super-measiness and turns him into a not-semi-retarded emo blue dragon. Gag '- An orange dinosaur thing with green hair, horn, arms and legs with a very unhealthy (and creepy) obsession with pumpkins. Despite this, he is usually the most rational of the group and enjoys srompoetry. He has the Power of Stength, which turns him into the strongest in all of Chokeland. Useful for when the damn beaners try to steal his job.' Seizure''' - A yellow alien (no, not a beaner) with one grey eye and many tentacles, in addition to three arms. He inherited the Power of Chomp from his family. This power lets him devour anything in his line of sight. No, seriously, anything. He can eat the ground. THE FRICKING GROUND, MAN.' Spasm' - He is a dorsally-footed retard that is all green. Spasm has the Power of Awoo, which lets him unleash a devestating roar, which chokes anyone around. Useful for fending off hordes of wild negroes/beaners. Supporting Characters Hic - A gigantic stupid mutt whose powers include walking around being stupid and transporting the league across various terrains. Since both negroes and beaners are afraid of dogs, Hic is very useful for scaring them off. Oh, and he feeds on them too.' Eeegh '- A huge turtle. I like turtles.' Coughwheeze' - An abomination of nature who can't even stand up. It looks like the bastard child of a chicken and a duck. All it does is sit around being useless. Frick this thing.' Meklapis '-''' An albino black communist living in the missle east that plays soccer. Helps the league teach children about faces in every YourFace segment. Not much else is know about him, other than his face is impulsive and he hates this website and the srompkids tv show. The only thing he ever said was "frick srompsromp". Makalaka the Nigerian, Thabo the Ugandan and Seone the Kenyan''' - Despite being negroes, these three brothers are very friendly to everyone and often help the league with whatever it is they need. But they are they still enslaved by the league because they're NEGROES.' Rick '- The league's next door neighbor. He hates everyone, especially Choke. It is hinted many times that Rick and Choke do drive-by shootings offscreen because it's not inappropriate if it's offscreen.CHOKE Villains Oeht Suorp - A big stupid doodoo head and the league's archenemy, who is bent on destroying America, and he tries to do so by invading it with beaners and negroes, rendering all the white folk helpless. Or so he thinks.' Zombie Negroes' - Compromising the dimmer half of Oeht's minions, zombie negroes try to steal everything in sight (except for jobs, they leave those for the beaners below because they're too lazy to work) and kidnap all the white women around. Fortunately, due to being zombies and stupid negroes, they are pretty easy to defeat.' Emo Beaners '- When summoned by Oeht, they climb the borders and march towards their target. Beware of their razorblades (though a fight between a beaner and Choke is pretty entertaining), but mostly be afraid of their job-stealing powers. If they steal your job you'll be unemployed and there won't be much you can do about it. Other than killing them and eradicating their kind, that is. They also mow any lawns in sight, which is the only reason that not everyone is unemployed. Category:stupid things that suck Category:Artskys